The movie, War Room (also a book by Chris Fabry) inspired me to get serious about creating my very own. I loved the entire concept of having a special room for prayer. However, that concept was short lived. It stayed nestled in the back of my mind for several months. Recently, the idea came back full force. Why? Because the struggle is real! I really struggle everyday, spiritually and mentally.
My spiritual dysfunction has been an on again off again struggle for me. At the age of 12, my family and I began to immerse ourselves into the Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) church. We weren't strict SDAs; however, as I grew older, I strayed away from the church. For years after moving away from my parents, I considered myself a "non-practicing" SDA. Only after the death of my husband in 2013, did I revisit my commitment to the church. My boys and I were baptized on October 5, 2013. It felt so good to be back in the church. I remained on the path of righteousness for a little over a year. Unfortunately, I began to slip into old habits. I began missing church, I stopped keeping the Sabbath, and forgot to pray daily. Luckily for me, I have the greatest parents in the world. My parents pushed me to get back on track with God.
My mental struggle involves my mood disorder. This year I was diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder.
Cyclothymic disorder (Cyclothymia) is described as a mood disorder which has been thought to be a very mild form of bipolar disorder. My biggest issue with this disorder is the irritability. It is very difficult to fight the battle of being constantly irritated at life or becoming angry and/or irate at people for the smallest unnecessary thing. I find myself becoming more and more aggressive with bouts of insomnia, hopelessness and feelings of just giving up on life. The other side of Cyclothymia causes a lack of focus that keeps me from doing basic everyday life. Washing dishes, or light house cleaning takes forever because I am constantly distracted with my thoughts which then causes my anxiety to increase. It is helpful that I have the opportunity to work from home, however; I go through so many emotions just to get through the work day.
This post is not about my mood disorder (definitely a future post) or my spiritual dysfunction, it is about how I have tried to cope with my relationship with God. In the past I was on medication and hospitalized. Medication did not work for me. I hated the way it made me feel. My plan this time, to avoid medication or hospitalization, is to focus more on God. Putting my spiritual life in order will in turn help me mentally. A week ago, I made a promise to God. I promised that I would read the bible for 30 minutes every night. Several mistakes were made in the first week. My first mistake created a ripple effect.
Mistake 1: Trying to read the bible while in bed!
This is a horrible thing to do, especially for someone like me...you know, someone who likes sleep. I would hop into bed open minded and heart ready with a timer in hand. Admittedly, the first night was not bad. However, during the second night and so forth, time seemed to shorten a bit. I really did attempt to stay awake and read my bible plan, but I was too comfortable.
Mistake 2:
No time set aside!
My days are usually planned. I plan everything from possible chores, dinner, and errands. I generally have a very hard time staying on a planned schedule. Even though I do not complete half of the items on my daily list, I do enjoy having it available. Not once did I list my bible study sessions. The assumed study time was before I went to bed.
Mistake 3:
No organization!
Maintaining an organized life is a huge must for me. Being the type of person that is easily distracted makes daily life very difficult. As organized as I am, I could not find the effort to organize my prayer room. Thanks to Pinterest and YouTube, I was able to find hundreds of ideas for organizing. With ideas coming from all directions I was able to come up with the perfect solution.
After I took the time to organize my prayer room and my prayer journal, things just fell into place. I truly believe that having a prayer room has helped me in keeping my promise to God. Once my prayer room was organized and working wonders for my spiritual health, I began to focus on my prayer journal. More about that journey in my next blog.
Stay blessed, healthy and happy!
cro strips to keep my Sharpies together and readily available. In the back of the journal, I made a pouch that holds 24 laminated stickers. The stickers have Velcro strips that can be placed on the journaling pages. Magnets work too!
